i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so explain again why im purple
no
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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