so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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