is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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