i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
