Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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