she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
