He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
