i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
