Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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