I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
