Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
