left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
