I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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