i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
