Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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