youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
