Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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