he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
