You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship