Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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(830): You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin http://tfl.nu/1khj

Replies (7) Good night (817) Bad night (1665)
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(847): View more from Illinois

dude, osama threatened the US again

(1-847): View more from Illinois

dude. i slept with your sister last night

(847): View more from Illinois

what?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

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(847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc

Replies (26) Good night (5201) Bad night (705)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

did you answer or finish?

(404): View more from Georgia

both

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(404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz

Replies (27) Good night (7356) Bad night (983)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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(630): I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else http://tfl.nu/09lv

Replies (13) Good night (4184) Bad night (747)
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(214): View more from Texas

I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.

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(214): I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now. http://tfl.nu/38zc

Replies (19) Good night (6868) Bad night (1357)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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(773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85

Replies (7) Good night (5955) Bad night (1177)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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(919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo

Replies (7) Good night (3239) Bad night (1054)
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(773): View more from Illinois

At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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(773): At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me http://tfl.nu/wnez

Replies (4) Good night (2762) Bad night (1105)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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(603): I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities http://tfl.nu/wabu

Replies (6) Good night (3176) Bad night (728)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader

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(208): I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader http://tfl.nu/v8oi

Replies (3) Good night (1420) Bad night (806)
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(914): View more from New York

Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious

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(914): Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious http://tfl.nu/b9mo

Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (449)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?

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(203): Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day? http://tfl.nu/ae7l

Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (210)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

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(503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu

Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (212)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality

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(540): I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality http://tfl.nu/elez

Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (198)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

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(423): What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers http://tfl.nu/qabo

Replies (5) Good night (172) Bad night (348)

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