this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
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The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.