Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?

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  (585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? http://tfl.nu/wdl8
  Replies (59) Good night (3951) Bad night (747)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex

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  (404): I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex http://tfl.nu/l7ka
  Replies (44) Good night (7491) Bad night (811)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  (708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq
  Replies (55) Good night (7392) Bad night (1143)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?

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  (205): She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more? http://tfl.nu/6zzu
  Replies (6) Good night (3215) Bad night (809)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

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  (832): Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all.... http://tfl.nu/501n
  Replies (3) Good night (2036) Bad night (893)
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  (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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  (415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec
  Replies (9) Good night (2963) Bad night (830)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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  (515): you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation. http://tfl.nu/yqu2
  Replies (8) Good night (3737) Bad night (972)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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  (443): we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice http://tfl.nu/hzcq
  Replies (10) Good night (6259) Bad night (1822)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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  (863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k
  Replies (5) Good night (2610) Bad night (739)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
  Replies (7) Good night (647) Bad night (481)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

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  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (404)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton

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  (401): The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton http://tfl.nu/me9i
  Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

  (858): View more from California

  Where did he get the tophat?

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  (858): we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat. (858): Where did he get the tophat? http://tfl.nu/1w08
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (340)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs

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  (727): You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs http://tfl.nu/7zsc
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (251)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.

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  (651): i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again. http://tfl.nu/awxi
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (496)

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