he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
