I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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