Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
