we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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