Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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