Me too!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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