'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need moral support for this bender
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize