Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
