cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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