I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
