I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
