He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We need to get me chipped asap
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
