you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
