Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
