what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
