I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This is my gift to your gina
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
