Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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