this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
