he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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