i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
