good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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