Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
