I feel great
I just peed on a car
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
