i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pants are for mortals
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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