Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize