Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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