I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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