She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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