It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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