Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
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First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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