My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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