she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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