We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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