Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
