Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
