I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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