we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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