All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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