I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
