I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I would fuck him just for his dog
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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