He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize