It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
