please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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