somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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